Smile and Nod, Bitches
"After enough creative shutdowns, I basically showed up at meetings with duct tape over my mouth and nodded politely."
Imagine you're watching the news and suddenly the newscaster touches their ear and says "Oh wait, I'm sorry what's that? Ladies and gentlemen, we have breaking news..." and then blahblahblah they state something that's a BFD.
Well, my ideas tend to do that. They come in hot.
Mid business presentation, my brain fires off with an idea (hello ADHD my old friend). A different take on a common topic. A nudge that doesn't fit the mold. A completely random creative urge that has nothing to do with what we're discussing.
I used to find my quirks and creative urges as interruptions. Distractions. Things to suppress.
I remember sitting in conference rooms as we were directed to follow any given Master Plan to hit quota. Take approach A, use sales script B, and leave the client with handout C.
Usually that whole time I would have an idea or nudge that I thought could really help. A human-level, boots-on-the-ground approach that I don't know... actually met people where they were at. It wasn't rocket science to me.
But after enough creative shutdowns, I basically showed up at meetings with duct tape over my mouth and nodded politely.
Smile and nod, bitches. That was the strategy.
Keep your ideas to yourself. Follow the script. Don't rock the boat.
Fast-forward to today, and those ideas? The ones I used to suppress? They're why I'm hired.
The different takes. The boots-on-the-ground approach. The willingness to think outside the box and try something that doesn't fit the cookie-cutter mold.
Who knew that thinking outside the box was something to do a celebratory shake-your-ass happy dance to? Not me. At least not then.
It turns out the things that made me feel like an interruption in corporate were actually my superpower. I just needed permission to use them. And by permission, I mean I had to give it to myself.
This week felt pretty solid, honestly.
I've been sipping black coffee instead of indulging in my salted caramel goodness. Small discipline, but it counts.
I had someone tell me that I seem calmer than when they first met me a year ago. More at ease. And that was my biggest win of the week.
The work I've been doing to keep rediscovering myself and fall into a beat of my own drum—feeling and accepting peace over output—is becoming visible to others.
Sigh. I'll take that all damn day, baby.
The editing has felt fine. Nothing to write home about.
It feels taxing some days, productive on others. And sometimes I wonder if people are sick of hearing about the damn book and just want me to finish the shit.
Me too, guys. Me too.
But I have made steady weekly progress. Seven chapters expanded and tightened. Eleven more to go. The manuscript is taking shape, and even though it's slow and sometimes feels like trudging through mud, it's happening.
One chapter at a time. One week at a time.
If you've used a publisher or self-published, I'm all ears. Pipe in with your pros and cons. I'm still figuring out which route makes sense for this thing.
Here's what I'm learning: Transformation isn't about becoming someone new. It's about turning what used to feel like interruptions into superpowers.
The quirks. The ADHD brain that fires off mid-presentation. The creative urges that don't fit the corporate mold.
Those aren't distractions. They're the damn point.
So if you're sitting in a conference room right now with metaphorical duct tape over your mouth, nodding politely while your brain screams "THERE'S A BETTER WAY"—listen to that voice.
It's not an interruption.
It's your superpower waiting for permission.
Be you.
Manuscript progress: 7 of 18 chapters complete (39%)
This week: Finished Chapter 7 (Firing Karen)
Next up: Chapter 8
Timeline: 11 chapters remaining
See you next week.
